Libido, libidon't

Infidelity.............

interesting how the initial root of the word, infidel, is also a term used to describe those who do not subscribe to certain religious philosophy or doctrine......

religion.... that which has so often been used throughout the ages to limit, persecute, subjugate and punish those who are weak or dare to have their own opinion that does not subscribe to that of the masses...

human beings are biologically not designed to be monogomous yet due to religious doctrine we have been moulded into believing that it is the honourable and worthy path to follow.

when I have been in a relationship, as defined by conventional boundries, I have been monogamous..... at this point in my life I have absolutely no desire to be monogomous, hence I have refused the last two guys who wanted to take our casual "relationship" to the next level.......

Was I being noble or greedy? ensuring I did not make a promise I could not keep and resulting in them being hurt later?

maybe, maybe not, but I see the cost that infidelity has on a person for someone I love is being cheated on, repeatedly, continually, obviously. They close their eyes to it and it is destroying their life, their relationships with other people around them who are begging them to open their eyes and see the truth, instead they direct their anger at those around them rather than at their spouse; their anger has the space and fuel to bubble up and grow like a demon in the emptiness that is the definition of their relationship, feeding on the hurt and knowledge they so desperately try to deny. the malevolance, the hegemonous creep of the insidiousness of infidelity........ I am not against polygamous lifestyles, but I am against lies, against lies to other and about lies to yourself.......


infidelity stems from trust, when someone trusts so much they close their eyes to the reality placed before them.

infidelity is the existential nightmare no one who is in love wants to have to face: so they choose not to and instead allow the festering sore to permiate and affect every other aspect of their lives

infidelity is a fact of life when dealing with a group of animals driven by hormones and desires, not to mention the complex range of psychological issues that so often go along with it.. From Freudian desires stemming from childhood, the Oedipal struggle apparently within us all, the abstract sexual theories and beliefs of Riechian theories, low self esteem and the need to have the power of knowing you can have your cake and eat it too....

whatever it is it is wrong, but no matter what i know I can never reveal to this person what i know for it is not my place, so rather than do that I shall be here when it all goes to hell, as it inevitabley will, and support and love them through the aftermath; that is if they do not manage to push me away before hand with their own anger and hurt at the truth they know is there but cannot face.

and all those reasons and more are why I will not be in a monogamous relationship right now.......... its not about self esteem, its not about conquest, its about for me, the desire to be able to do it on my terms, and no one elses, but to be in a destructive relationship, blind to the reality before you.. that is not your terms, that is their terms, and I have no wish to be on either side of that coin.