2+2=5.........

I am currently thinking way too deeply about the emotional attachments we form with people, about the feelings that so often spill uncontroblly from us; follow no rhyme, no reason and generally lead to mass confusion.

A dear, close and wonderful friend is leaving my fair city to return home, and I will not see them for a very long time; we will never live in the same country again. At the 'going away' bash there was an eclectic and varied bunch of individuals, and the cliches and differences between each distinct group was starkly obvious. Groups of people so vastly diverse, the only commonality being the same friend. I have experienced this myself, with groups of friends who should never be in the same room! It always makes me wonder how someone can be friends with people, who can be loved by people, who inherantly are so different. It strikes me as an interesting component of the human condition that we can draw people into our lives who, while we love them individually, and they us, they have nothing in common with others we love. It challenges the theory that we draw likeminded people to us.

Human relationships have always fascinated me, as they do many of us. I know it is a cliched topic but its one I cant help but explore. How can someone i love dearly also love someone who I find an annoying, mincing, arrogant twat? And of course visa versa? Friendships are complex existential necessities that grow, change, endure or die with us. Some you can nurture and nourish and they end up nothing more than a blip on your radar, others can face distance, lack of contact, differences and yet still continue strong. There is nothing better than the friend you dont see except every two or three years, or more, and yet the minute you are together, all the time falls away and its like the coffee cups are still warm from the last visit.

In my case i have found many of the friendships that came my way, the ones that at the time i felt I would travel with me the rest of my life, have ended up memories, and more often than not memories filled with hurt, and lessons learned about what defines a real and enduring friendships opposed to something built on a foundation of lies and misconception. I have always tried to be honest in all my friendships, yet so often it seems honesty is the thing that others find so hard to give.

Maybe that is why so often such nondivergant groups of people can be linked by one common friend, because this one person has found the key, the ability, to be able to be open with each one of these individuals. Just because you have stuff in common with someone does not mean you will be able to be honest and open with them....